Archive for August, 2010

Once upon a time ..

Posted: August 8, 2010 in me|my life

It was her b’day …in fact she never had a surprise b’day party  in her entire life . Her friends gave  a surprise visit to her place …she blew the candles .. got lots of gifts and was smiling all the way . But no one knew… she was badly missing someone.. someone she loved enough to dedicate her entire life.. the only one till date.  She expected just get a call from him to be wished on her b’day. Till 12 o’ clock  her eyes were glued to her phone lcd.. she knew he was in town. she just needed a wish. that’s all.

But as the saying goes.. you never get what you wish most in your life.. (for good or bad, i am not going into it)

Ok where i

Yes next morning she tried all means to contact him .. finally got his no. from a mutual friend and called him up.

She sort of repented over what she did ..but she was helpless. she wanted to meet him.. she longed to see him  not knowing what she would say .. she was sort of nervous.

Finally it was time for them to meet… they both met at their usual place where they use to meet when were in a ‘relationship’ ( this word seems kindda very fake to me now , anyway !).

Her heart started racing the moment she saw him. They both started walking .. at a distance of 10cms from each other.. they were walking together but not with each other.

She tried to start a casual talk with  him but the guy hardly spoke. He replied either in ” YES” OR “NO” .. that was kindda very annoying of him. but still she tried… trying to make the moment light and happy as she knew ..may be it was their only meeting in the  coming few yrs or may be the last.

She sort of felt in love with him again inspite of him being trying to be rude as much as possible. Her urge for talking to him since long made her love him more . In a way she was crying from within while with him.

She loved him like she always did .. even more but she can’t express.. can’t expect to be loved.

They were tired of walking and needed a place to sit and the only place nearby was a park.

Initially the girl hesitated from putting this idea of going to a park as they were no more girlfriends-boyfriends and these days park is meant to be girlfriends-boyfriends only.

anyway .. finally they went inside and sat together on a cement bench.. at pretty much distance from each other and in a way so that she can look straight into his eyes.

She was still nervous.. as if her feelings are visible from her face .. she was really nervous. To avoid it or to say to make the situation lighter .. she started talking about her college life , family, future (career) plans etcetera only but to avoid the topic ‘ love’ .. at the moment it really made her feel uncomfortable .

Then silence for another few mins cause the boy was fully maintaining his rude behavior.

Then she offered him ‘ Dairy milk’ which she had in her bag.  She didn’t have it because she expected the guy to make her feed from his own hand but he didn’t ( very well expected !)

Then silence again.

She was sort of bored sitting there. They both started walking and stopped at a point . It was her favourite place in the park. Over the bridge right in front of the moon. It was a beautiful romantic view from there. They both stood there maintaining their usual distance from each other unlike others in the park.

She was nervous .. more nervous.. her heart was racing… she didn’t knew why.

Tring~ Tring .. her mom called up.. she was talking to her mom and then suddenly she felt something very soothing .. she felt heavenly .. his hand was on hers holding the railings of the bridge.  She started stammering on the phone.

Then she kept the phone not knowing what she answered.

Her eyes were filled with tears.. as if she got something for which she waited so long… just by his touch.  He tried to remove her hands but she held his fingers tightly.. she wanted that moment to pause .. she felt like in heaven ..  Yes! she loved him madly.

The distance between them vanished .. they were now standing close to each other ..with silence on their lips.

her heart felt heavy..she felt a lump in her throat.. she couldn’t speak.. she didn’t want to speak. she was happy …enjoyed every second of it.. as if all her pain vanished by his touch.

Finally she said quietly ” … I love you ! ”


Now it was time for her to go home.

They both took a hand rickshaw only to spend some more time together sitting close to each other.

It was dark.. he was holding her hand playfully.. they both felt damn romantic.. but they both knew… it was temporary.. everything was over between them.

She had tears again in her eyes .. she couldn’t stop herself. she bend her head… closed her eyes for 5 seconds.. and then gave him a small peck on his cheeks whispering in his ears ‘ i love you.. i will love you always’

He kissed on her hand and said ‘ forget me ! i am not good for you’.. not knowing he was the only existence which made her feel complete in this world.


Really proud to be INDIAN ?

Posted: August 8, 2010 in Articles

So 15th august is here and many of our elders  will be like talking all about nationalism, indian struggle, etcetera

But tell me how many of us really are happy with the indian administration?  we all seems to go gaga on the independence day but the real colour of patriotism is visible  when a new ‘ BUDGET’ plan is out.

No! don’t take me that i am myself happy or in the agreement with the indian budget plans.. or take the administration or whatever it is .. in a way i hate it but i don’t fake even .. saying all the way.

I tried very hard to comprehend Mamata’s railway budget ( no steam in this engine, alas), but promptly abandoned the exercise when I acknowledged a basic lack of interest within myself – when was the last time I jumped on a train? See?? That’s really how it works, whether we face it or not. Selfishness rules. We breathlessly await the latest Budget only to pounce on those aspects which impact our lives directly – be honest. Do you really get into a blue fog worrying about tax implications affecting kerosene prices? Do you have toor daal on your mind on Budget Day? Or even two-wheeler prices? All you want to know in the broadest of terms is – what’s in it for me, if anything? Higher prices are a given. So are even higher taxes. You have already reconciled yourself to that. You want to know just one thing – where will the extra lolly come from?? And how badly are you going to be hit this time?? That you are going to be hit, has been factored in. Remember darlings – there is no such thing as a ‘good’ Budget. Every new Budget is a killer, one way or the other. Which is why it is important to ignore all those grim faced farts on tv telling us about less pain in the future. Take a walk, you guys. When will you stop bull- shitting? Spare us your ‘expert’ comments, and the cheesy, ‘no pain, no gain’ rubbish. We prefer listening to our wallets. And the story they tell is vastly different.

Each year, we generate hype just before Judgement Day. It is a particularly masochistic exercise, and no other developed country in the world makes quite such a ludicrous song and dance over what is after all nothing more dramatic than a routine annual statement about the government’s finances. We are the ones who create all the dramabaazi around the Budget and treat the entire exercise as a Reality Show, with the F.M. playing the key role. ‘‘Kaun Banega Crorepati??” You know the answer to that one – nobody! At least, not on paper The dream is technicoloured and big. Like Anil Ambani’s latest venture.Analysts are claiming anything from 8% to 11% – kuch, kuch hota hai! But all that comes later, once the dust settles down, and we stop cribbing. India without perennial cribbers would be so damn boring! We like cribbing! It is our birthright. So, even as we moan and groan, sulk and sigh, the Budget ki Kahani will not last beyond this weekend. It is a little like MNIK – so much publicity before the release of the film. And then what? Money in the bank for the canny producers. But the aam janata was left trying to figure out how to pronounce ‘Asperger’s’ and whether or not to admit in public that nobody had heard of the syndrome till Rizwan came on the scene.
I am not complaining. I am sensibly holding my tongue. You know why?? I don’t get it – the Budget, I mean. And it’s stupid to try and deconstruct anything I can’t figure out. As it goes every year, I’ll simply shrug philosophically and pay up, humming ‘Kabhie Khushi, Kabhie Gam.”